Monday, October 3, 2011

great interspecies connection!

o hi sweet little tenders.  so remember that time last autumn when i talked about bambi?  well.  this happened:

this was pretty great

so just in case you were wondering about autumn and whether or not it's the best - here's your proof.  also, if you were questioning life and it's endless enchantment - look no further.  it is - literally - at your fingertips.

then this happened last weekend:

great again

Thursday, August 11, 2011

great lists!

this kid has got it all right
o hello my little tender ones.  it's been so long, hasn't it? well, your faithful narrator has been through a bit of a whirlwind, but i'm back to talk about more things that are great!  there is still joy.  when there is nothing else, there is the ever-present possibility for joy! life is so very short. it is heartbreaking and astounding and the point is to feel everything, isn't it?  it's what we do.  what a thing to marvel at.

so. let's get started, shall we?

let's talk about something that i have a personal obsession with: list-making. this fella has always got a handful of little post-it notes and recycled tear-ups in her back pocket of to-do's, don't-forgets, here's-a-thoughts and read-this's.

for example, i just emptied out my pocket and here i have a list of authors to read [lydia davis and amy hempel] as well as a little grocery list of red wine vinegar, PAY TUITION [not available at grocers, but certainly list-worthy. yikes!], graham crackers [for melting peanut butter and semi-sweet chocolate chips on. healthy life choices. don't mind if i do] and coffee.  now, i've just made myself a nice little cup of coffee only to discover that my cream has gone the way of the irish elk.  that is to say, brother, it's way gone.  so, do i add cream to my list?  no.  i re-write the list.  nothing fills me with a greater sense of purpose than writing a fresh new list to crumple up into the safe pit of fabric where my spheroidal ass will keep it warm and protected from the elements.  an added-to list gives one more things to stroke off.  what satisfaction!  what accomplishment!

but i've stumbled upon a new challenge.  it's called the list of 100. you can do this for anything.  you could do the list of 100 things to do before you die, or 100 things you've already done and you're still not dead, 100 things you want to say out loud, 100 people you want to touch with your hand, 100 animals you'd like to rub faces with.  the potential is limitless.  just like joy.  limitless!

it's also an excellent tool for getting those atrophied creative veins pumping again.  sit down and write a list 100 anything.  100 character ideas, 100 plots, 100 story titles, 100 opening or closing sentences.

now you may come to a bit of stalemate in the process of writing your list of 100.  you may feel that some of what you're tossing in is inane, pointless, dull as dishwater even [am i martha stewart?].  don't let that stop you.  the idea is that you work through this and come up with things that you otherwise wouldn't have.

just like i always say, my little tender ones:  i get naked, you get naked.  so. here's the beginning of my list.  in an effort to get myself writing again, i figured i should start with some titles to get me thinking.

hopefully one of these little babies will spearhead a great story that will land me in an issue of mcsweeney's!

on that note, let me leave you with one more list of to-do's:

- feel everything
- love, love, love

Saturday, April 23, 2011

great yes!

"at the side of the everlasting why, there is a yes! and a yes! and a yes!" -e.m. forster [a room with a view]

my sweet ones.
say yes.
life is short.
take the risk.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

great laugh!

laughter: the reactive force.
laughter: the performatory showing.
laughter: the cathartic chopping.
laughter: the audible expression or appearance of excitement, an inward feeling of joy or humor. 

Robert Provine [profesor de psicología y ayudante de dirección del programa de neurociencia de la universidad de maryland!] suggests that laughter is one of the first forms of communication by we humans and that laughter evolved into talking.  what a remarkable curse and blessing. 

laughter stems from the limbic system in our formidable and unhinged brains.  the limbic system deals with functions that pertain to our ability to thrive.  that is to say, it's a form of survival.  to laugh is to live, little tenders.

we humans are not the only livers-and-breathers to laugh.  our furry foreparents, current cousins and long-distance twice-removed tenders are also great laughers.  blessed be they who open their traps and howl at the great humours and joys of life.

laughter is an act of vulnerability.  an open mouth and revealed neck is a great risk in the animal kingdom.  it's a great risk in our weighty little kingdom too.  it's a kill shot.  but honey, ain't we precious.  don't we just love to see an exposed neck full and strained from the horn of laughter?  doesn't this release, this vibrating sing-song of pure, unsullied joy make you feel like you're a part of something magical?  because you are!

so laugh.
my sweet tenders, if there is nothing else in this world, let there be laughter.
let there be a great howling amongst us.
let there be joy!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

great people!

green beer is for suckers, guys.
chin up, feet forward.
fists to yourselves, please.
keep grinning, little tender ones.
sing a song, make a toast, kiss your neighbour.
try not to be a douche bag on the day reserved for my glorious people.

here are some famous quotes by irish people:
"that's my breakfast lunch and dinner right there." - colin farrell in reference to the vagina [sheath or scabbard, whaaaaaaaat?].
i'll stop there.  i can't imagine continuing after that little gem.

may we all be alive this time next year!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

take the great risk!

you will die.
the inevitability of this is certain. our knowledge of this is irrefutable. it keeps us - more often than not - careful, safe, aware. it can keep us, even more often than this, scared.  sounds boring, does it not?

what we do not understand is our capacity to live.
what we can guarantee, however, is that we are - every day - given an opportunity to be something to someone, something to anything. in this life, today, right now, this moment.

our capacity to live is almost inconceivable to us.
we do it without thinking.
is that not incredible to you?
you are existing right now with no awareness of it at all.
why are you not totally freaking out?
why are you not screaming in fits of joy at this discovery?

would that i could get into your brains, my little tenders.
crawl in, just at the slope in your ear [pinna!] and whisper to you that behind the mud and the smoke there is one thing you need; one thing you crave; one thing that you should strive for every day, every moment, right now.
and that is connection.
the rest of it doesn't matter.
the rest of it is just details, semantics, distractions, abuses, bullshit.
open your eyes, open your hands, open whatever opens.
let something in.
it doesn't matter how that part manifests for you.
can't you see that someone is trying to get through to you?

my father, in his great bewilderment, had written that he wanted to be found.
he wanted it so badly that he wrote it six times over.
find me!
find me!
find me!
find me!
find me!
find me!
he wrote asking for us to take the risk.
take the risk.

do you understand?
take the risk, you beautiful, exciting people!
you are alive and existing.
connect with one another.
there is time.
take the risk.
we will be here.

Monday, February 21, 2011

great sorrow!

marina abramovic - happy christmas - 2008
my little tender ones, i know that my goal as your humble narrator is to speak to you of joy and things that are great. i want you to see the greatness in you. in doing this, i want to inspire or help to inspire all things true and honest within you. that includes your darkness. the authentic parts of you are all of the parts of you.  i know it's easy to keep your sadness, your anger, your fear in a place that is inaccessible to others - where they can't hold it, or stroke it gently for you.  

i want you to open up these caverns. o, just try, sweet ones! we are there, waiting to give you our arms for holding, our lips for hushing, our ears for listening, our hearts to love you.  we will rock you against us and it will be okay. 

in an effort to ask these things of you, it seems only fair that i share with you this thing - this thing that comes from a place of great sorrow. that is to say: i get naked, you get naked.  let's do this together.  i'm with you.

my father, robust and bright.
my father, the patriarch.
my father, the child.
my father, the great.
my father, the bewildered.
my father, the peacemaker.
my father, the warmonger.
my father, the effervescent.
my father, the enervated.
my father, alive and living, is gone/has been gone now.


you are loved for all of things that are inside of you.
your darkness is marvelous!
show me your fucked-up-ness!
i will honour it!

the below video is a live performance of hope there's someone by antony and the johnsons.  antony hegarty is a beautiful, transcendent example [at least musically/lyrically] of what it means to honour your sadness and your fear in order to be free. his darkness is the most moving.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

a great message to you.

marina abramovic & ulay - rest energy, 1980
my beguiling readers, it's been a bit of a time since i talked about you and to you. you! my little tenders! there are some things i want to tell you! have to tell you! need to tell you! things that you must hear and know in your very core.

i wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. no, you're bigger than that. you are dazzling! you are wild! you are savage and uncultivated! you are free and the world is big enough for all of us.

we are the ruler and we are the people.

remember, we need to hold hands across this great, wide expanse. we need to look at one another. i will look you in the eye, that is my oath. i promise i won't ignore you or your astounding, incredible presence.  you miracle!  you exist.  did you know that?

we are here!

i want you to know that the things you offer will be taken up by me and exercised in my hands and my heart.  your gifts are staggering.

let's be awake and wide-eyed together!
let's show one another things that bring us joy.
let's bring one another joy.
i will offer you this and my love and the deepest, secret parts of my heart.

i want you to know that you have the potential for a lifetime of momentous actions whereby you will change those around you.  you will mark someone's life.  i want to mark my life by these momentous actions.  i want a mark on me that has you in it.
5000-year-old mantuans in tender embrace

i know times can be hard.

sometimes the weight of a sorrowful heart can make us cold and ache to touch.  i know things can bury us. but i know you are in there. i promise i will find you. if ever you are lost, i will not give up on you.

i want the shine in your eyes to reflect my love for you!
can't you see that we're in this together?
i honour you.
we will take care of you.
all of us.
you are not alone.
you are loved.
you are spectacular!
i hold you in my heart.
please carry me with you.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

great shameless self promotion!

hey guys.  so i've really been getting into shameless self promotion these days.  i think it's important to tell/show people your talents.  shout it from the rooftops, my little ones!  if you have a talent, there should be no shame in talking about it or being proud of it!  we are socialized to blend in.  don't stand out.  don't rise above.  don't draw attention to yourself. i say that's balls!  let your beautiful, unique and interesting selves shine!  sparkle!  you are made of star stuff, my tender ones!

so.  self promotion.  if that means posting videos of one's self reading deep lez smut, then so be it.  that being said - i think i might have a slight proficiency in talking about sex. i recently read at cliterature: an evening to celebrate women's sexuality. here it is!

do you like the child-size bow tie, little tenders?  i purloined it from a mainstream fashion store so that i could look dapper and conservative.

i also read last year.  here it is!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

great shell marcel!

it's sunday morning.  guess what i had for breakfast?  hazelnut coffee, a poached egg and roasted yellow pepper on an english muffin with a side of sauteed mushrooms and garlic and pea shoots for a garnish!  homemade by a red-headed wonder friend!  ain't you jealous?!

okay, tender ones.  i had to share this with you.
jenny slate, a welcome addition to [and then sad subtraction of] the snl cast, has herself a little side project with her director-beau dean fleischer-camp.  it's a little animated short called "marcel the shell with shoes on".  jenny slate co-wrote this piece and also did the voice [unaltered!].  marcel is charming, terribly witty and fills me with so much joy.  guys, i can't even handle the deep love i feel when i watch this.  i actually broke out into a sweat because i was so excited about meeting this gentle little creature!

please enjoy!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

great white mystery!

hi there, sweet tender ones!  fuck yeah 2011, right?!  it started out really great and it's still pretty great.  this new month of the two thousand and eleventh year of the current era is looking pretty darned excellent thus far.  what say you, crowd?

so, being a canadian [<-- emilie mover!] and all, i really don't see why i shouldn't discuss our country's reputation for being on the receiving end of ridiculous amounts of snow!!!  yeah snow!  i was born in december [decembers' flower is a poinsettia! poison!], so i am naturally drawn to the cold, crisp, clouds of air [alliteration!] that puff from our hot and earnest lungs as we slip about and crunch the snow under our giant, in and out of style winter booties!

snow is frozen precipitation that comes from the sky gods ever-flowing tear pool! [thank the rocket's 4-year-old brain for that one].  it's more commonly known as a type of precipitation within the earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice and blah blah blah IT'S FREAKIN WHITE MAGIC!  frigging joke silk says my friend, kamikaze!

snow, in its collective and communal form is pretty fantastic.  but snowflakes.  snowflakes are little enchantments.  tiny, unique particles of wizardry!  but soft! how, you ask.  just how.  they are crystals, supercooled [and super-awesomed].  according to the anonymous geniuses at wikipedia, "These droplets are able to remain liquid at temperatures lower than −18 °C (0 °F), because to freeze, a few molecules in the droplet need to get together by chance to form an arrangement similar to that in an ice lattice".  in layman's terms, MORE PEARLY MAGIC!

i know it's bloody cold out, guys.  i know it makes going out of doors seem unbearable.  but next time you see that chalky downfall blanketing our beautiful earth, find yourself in awe.  there is magic every day!

look how much this little spirit animal [red fox] likes it!