Saturday, January 29, 2011

great shameless self promotion!

hey guys.  so i've really been getting into shameless self promotion these days.  i think it's important to tell/show people your talents.  shout it from the rooftops, my little ones!  if you have a talent, there should be no shame in talking about it or being proud of it!  we are socialized to blend in.  don't stand out.  don't rise above.  don't draw attention to yourself. i say that's balls!  let your beautiful, unique and interesting selves shine!  sparkle!  you are made of star stuff, my tender ones!

so.  self promotion.  if that means posting videos of one's self reading deep lez smut, then so be it.  that being said - i think i might have a slight proficiency in talking about sex. i recently read at cliterature: an evening to celebrate women's sexuality. here it is!



do you like the child-size bow tie, little tenders?  i purloined it from a mainstream fashion store so that i could look dapper and conservative.

i also read last year.  here it is!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

great shell marcel!

it's sunday morning.  guess what i had for breakfast?  hazelnut coffee, a poached egg and roasted yellow pepper on an english muffin with a side of sauteed mushrooms and garlic and pea shoots for a garnish!  homemade by a red-headed wonder friend!  ain't you jealous?!

okay, tender ones.  i had to share this with you.
jenny slate, a welcome addition to [and then sad subtraction of] the snl cast, has herself a little side project with her director-beau dean fleischer-camp.  it's a little animated short called "marcel the shell with shoes on".  jenny slate co-wrote this piece and also did the voice [unaltered!].  marcel is charming, terribly witty and fills me with so much joy.  guys, i can't even handle the deep love i feel when i watch this.  i actually broke out into a sweat because i was so excited about meeting this gentle little creature!

please enjoy!


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

great white mystery!

hi there, sweet tender ones!  fuck yeah 2011, right?!  it started out really great and it's still pretty great.  this new month of the two thousand and eleventh year of the current era is looking pretty darned excellent thus far.  what say you, crowd?

so, being a canadian [<-- emilie mover!] and all, i really don't see why i shouldn't discuss our country's reputation for being on the receiving end of ridiculous amounts of snow!!!  yeah snow!  i was born in december [decembers' flower is a poinsettia! poison!], so i am naturally drawn to the cold, crisp, clouds of air [alliteration!] that puff from our hot and earnest lungs as we slip about and crunch the snow under our giant, in and out of style winter booties!

snow is frozen precipitation that comes from the sky gods ever-flowing tear pool! [thank the rocket's 4-year-old brain for that one].  it's more commonly known as a type of precipitation within the earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice and blah blah blah IT'S FREAKIN WHITE MAGIC!  frigging joke silk says my friend, kamikaze!

snow, in its collective and communal form is pretty fantastic.  but snowflakes.  snowflakes are little enchantments.  tiny, unique particles of wizardry!  but soft! how, you ask.  just how.  they are crystals, supercooled [and super-awesomed].  according to the anonymous geniuses at wikipedia, "These droplets are able to remain liquid at temperatures lower than −18 °C (0 °F), because to freeze, a few molecules in the droplet need to get together by chance to form an arrangement similar to that in an ice lattice".  in layman's terms, MORE PEARLY MAGIC!

i know it's bloody cold out, guys.  i know it makes going out of doors seem unbearable.  but next time you see that chalky downfall blanketing our beautiful earth, find yourself in awe.  there is magic every day!

look how much this little spirit animal [red fox] likes it!